Post by SEDstar on Jul 17, 2015 19:00:35 GMT -5
I am trying to balance a bunch of things right at the moment, kind of juggling and jogging in place.
1) my work ended, meaning the company closed. Revenue streams are sparse at the moment, lol... i quickly got a job working one day a week, but, thats just a situation of i am in a hole, and 5 people are throwing dirt on me? But... i have a shovel that fell in the the hole yippee! I can now dig OUT 1/5th as fast as the dirt is coming IN. ("Situation not optimal, request backup... are there even batteries in this thing ?!?!")
2) my dad is dying, which means hospice care. My oldest brother is in from florida to live there and help? But i have to take the "night shift" and give him some sleep, or, he cant do it. This is an unpaid 7-days a week job.
3) MOM is of little help, and really more of a hindrance to the whole thing. MOMS been a self centered "queen bee" her whole life who never once worked, who sits around and directs everyone elses labor and tells everyone ELSE what to do... the fact shes had numerous heart attacks and strokes, and always had diabetes... isnt helping any. She literally drives me and my brother ragged and crazy. I thought it was "just me" when i was there a few weeks and got no sleep and couldnt take it? "my brother agrees", lol.
4) almost 3 years ago? i got a DUI out of state... no big deal, but... i cant renew my drivers license in MY state until THAT state is happy with classes and such. The failing workplace demanded i work 6 and 7 days a week, making less money doing it... trying to help SAVE WORK, and at the same time get some money into the bank to prepare for it.
5) delivery drivers typically work under the table? so... i get no unemployment.
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these are all mutually-dependent, LMAO... being out of work is okay, done that before... just not with no unemployment AND losing the license soon, AND having to worl all night for free takjing care of dad...
i cant even schedule the crap i need for the clases. The lady is never in, i cant get a hold of the out of state information i need... and when it all comes down to it? i am not going to have a license or even the money to TAKE the classes.
i was looking FORWARDS to work ending? so i could FINALLY get a month or two REST, then go get a job... i am right BACK to no sleep, working every day, no money coming in, and cant do everything.
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this is all going to end with me having my utilities shut off in several months, lose the house, all my posessions... AND not be able to take care of MOM
NOW, i rationalize all of THAT, and take it in stride as best as i can...
now on top of all of it? my CAT seems to be "gone".
thats the most distressing part of all of it... with the wife gone years now, and no real enjoyment out of life in YEARS, combined with periodically having my house robbed off and on for years so i cant have "anything" nice in life even if i COULD have it?
my CAT is the one truly wonderful thing IN my life. Well, it "was" anyways...
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at least when i was working 6 and 7 days a week? the cat knew my schedule, and we would have "morning snuggle time" and/or "dad's home time"... and i could bring her a "treat" every other day to appreciate her...
when work ended, and the MOM DAD care thing started RIGHT up? the cat suddenly gets nothing... i am gone days at a time, the cat gets nothing but dry cat food, and theres no set schedule for morning snuggles or "dads home time" so she gets appreciated.
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i place my cat being gone? on a MUCH higher level of "problem" then when the old lady disappeared, personally...
============================================================================
how am i supposed to have no job, any job i "get" i will LOSE promptly when i cant drive soon... how will i ever PAY for classes to get my license allowed to be renewed when i dont have a job... i am glossing over stupid little stuff like "place to live" and "food"...
=================================
i can "deal" with just about all of it? except the CAT leaving me from neglect... that hurts the most...
1) my work ended, meaning the company closed. Revenue streams are sparse at the moment, lol... i quickly got a job working one day a week, but, thats just a situation of i am in a hole, and 5 people are throwing dirt on me? But... i have a shovel that fell in the the hole yippee! I can now dig OUT 1/5th as fast as the dirt is coming IN. ("Situation not optimal, request backup... are there even batteries in this thing ?!?!")
2) my dad is dying, which means hospice care. My oldest brother is in from florida to live there and help? But i have to take the "night shift" and give him some sleep, or, he cant do it. This is an unpaid 7-days a week job.
3) MOM is of little help, and really more of a hindrance to the whole thing. MOMS been a self centered "queen bee" her whole life who never once worked, who sits around and directs everyone elses labor and tells everyone ELSE what to do... the fact shes had numerous heart attacks and strokes, and always had diabetes... isnt helping any. She literally drives me and my brother ragged and crazy. I thought it was "just me" when i was there a few weeks and got no sleep and couldnt take it? "my brother agrees", lol.
4) almost 3 years ago? i got a DUI out of state... no big deal, but... i cant renew my drivers license in MY state until THAT state is happy with classes and such. The failing workplace demanded i work 6 and 7 days a week, making less money doing it... trying to help SAVE WORK, and at the same time get some money into the bank to prepare for it.
5) delivery drivers typically work under the table? so... i get no unemployment.
=================================================================================================
these are all mutually-dependent, LMAO... being out of work is okay, done that before... just not with no unemployment AND losing the license soon, AND having to worl all night for free takjing care of dad...
i cant even schedule the crap i need for the clases. The lady is never in, i cant get a hold of the out of state information i need... and when it all comes down to it? i am not going to have a license or even the money to TAKE the classes.
i was looking FORWARDS to work ending? so i could FINALLY get a month or two REST, then go get a job... i am right BACK to no sleep, working every day, no money coming in, and cant do everything.
==================================================================================================
this is all going to end with me having my utilities shut off in several months, lose the house, all my posessions... AND not be able to take care of MOM
NOW, i rationalize all of THAT, and take it in stride as best as i can...
now on top of all of it? my CAT seems to be "gone".
thats the most distressing part of all of it... with the wife gone years now, and no real enjoyment out of life in YEARS, combined with periodically having my house robbed off and on for years so i cant have "anything" nice in life even if i COULD have it?
my CAT is the one truly wonderful thing IN my life. Well, it "was" anyways...
======================================================================================
at least when i was working 6 and 7 days a week? the cat knew my schedule, and we would have "morning snuggle time" and/or "dad's home time"... and i could bring her a "treat" every other day to appreciate her...
when work ended, and the MOM DAD care thing started RIGHT up? the cat suddenly gets nothing... i am gone days at a time, the cat gets nothing but dry cat food, and theres no set schedule for morning snuggles or "dads home time" so she gets appreciated.
============================================================================
i place my cat being gone? on a MUCH higher level of "problem" then when the old lady disappeared, personally...
============================================================================
how am i supposed to have no job, any job i "get" i will LOSE promptly when i cant drive soon... how will i ever PAY for classes to get my license allowed to be renewed when i dont have a job... i am glossing over stupid little stuff like "place to live" and "food"...
=================================
i can "deal" with just about all of it? except the CAT leaving me from neglect... that hurts the most...